My mentor Fred Kofman taught me a principle decades ago that I use regularly for myself and in my work with women: know your “success beyond success.”

Success beyond success is how you want to BE based on your deeply-held values regardless of the situation.

Determining your success beyond success can be a general stance you take (Lynne Twist wonderfully differentiates between a stance and a position) and becomes more honed when facing a difficult situation.

Your success beyond success puts you on a rock-solid foundation no matter what you’re facing. You not only cannot lose, but you gain dominion from leading from this place.

Success beyond success is how you decide to *be* – the qualities and mindset and authentic expression of it – no matter the situation and ESPECIALLY in difficult ones where power is involved.

Sometimes we’re shaking in our boots when we speak from our success beyond success inner stance. No matter. The quiet power comes across changes everything.

The liberating aspect of your higher view of success is this:

No matter the other person’s response – no matter how the chips fall when you’ve stayed in your integrity and expressed yourself from a values position – you are completely intact.

And that allows you dominion to move forward.

We really can create the lives we want and be the leaders we want to be!

It takes work to define our success beyond success, but it becomes easier and easier when a regular practice.

Exercise to consider:

  • Is there a difficult conversation you need to have?

  • Is there a decision involving others you’re afraid to move toward because of the possibility of an unwanted outcome?

  • If so, take a minute to write down:
    1) what you most want from the conversation,
    2) what success would be ABOUT YOURSELF no matter the outcome, when the conversation is over.

I’d love to hear what you discover.